First Presbyterian Church
647 East Market Street
Akron, Ohio 44304-1684
330-434-5183

Food for Thought: A Father's Task

Dr. Mark Ruppert

Deuteronomy 6:1-9
Ephesians 6:1-4  

Well, today is Father’s Day. You know, the day a dad might get a card that sounds something like this: Knock Knock. Who’s there? Freeze. Freeze who? Freeze a jolly good fellow. Happy Father’s Day. It’s a day when my Dad gets a few more ties to add to his already humungous collection that runs the gamut, if you ever looked in his closet, from skinny to 4 ½ inches wide, from silk to polyester, from conservative dark to flowers to big Pokka dots splattered all over.

Now for those fathers, will-be-fathers, for grandfathers and uncles of families where there is no father living in the same household, and for all the men in the congregation today who are not fathers but who come in contact with youngsters and whether you know it or not influence children, I want to share a few thoughts with you. And please ladies, don’t tune me out just because it is Father’s Day, for your cooperation and role in the family is crucial, is essential in making the family work.

People, do you know that psychologists continue to confirm what we have known for a long time, namely, that a child’s personality is shaped very early in life, probably by the age of 4 or 5? The preschool years are the most formative years and since the molding process usually takes place in the home, the role of the parent or parents is crucial. Too many times we think that the mother should carry the burden of responsibility because she might have the opportunity to spend more time with the child, but that would be the case if she was a stay-at-home mom, and these days both parents working is more of a reality. And yet the father’s responsibility is just as equally important, for he must be involved in the molding and shaping of that child’s life. In fact the father needs to play a crucial role in helping to shape the spiritual tone for the home and if there is only a mom then the responsibility falls on her.

Part of the scripture I read from Ephesians said, “And fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.” Men, are we setting a good spiritual example for the children in our lives? Fathers, are we taking the initiative to lead our household in worship and prayer? Are we instructing the next generation in the ways of the Lord?

I know I have shared it before but it begs repeating the results of a study that was performed that indicated that if both Dad and Mom attend church regularly 72% of their children will remain faithful. If only Mom attends church regularly 15% remain faithful. But if only Dad attends church regularly 55% remain faithful. These statistics certainly say something to me Dads, and I hope to you as well.

The passage today from Ephesians has some pretty radical words coming from the Apostle Paul, when you consider the day-and-age when they were written. For at that time the Roman patria protestas, which means “the father’s power,” had the Roman father ruling with absolute power over his family. As a matter of fact, the father could sell his children into slavery. He could work them in his fields. Why, he could even order them put to death. A father’s power lasted until he died.

There was also the custom of exposure. Following the birth of a child, the baby was laid at the father’s feet. If the father bent down and picked up the child, it signified that he recognized the child and wanted to keep it. But if he turned and walked away that meant he refused it, and the child could be thrown out. It was not uncommon for a father to cast female babies away or to drown sickly or deformed children. So to a world where children were mere property, where they were enslaved, used or disposed of at will, Paul wrote his advice to children and to parents.

Paul specifically says to fathers, “do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.” The Greek word for “discipline” means “educate.” Here then, is the earliest recorded reference to what became known as Christian Education in the home. Parents, we are role models for our children and they are looking us to show them the right way.

Six-year-old Johnny was with his Dad when they were caught speeding. His Dad handed the officer a couple of tens. “It’s O K son,” he said. “Everybody does it.” When Johnny was 15 he made right guard on the high school football team. His coach showed him how to block and at the same time grab the opposing player by the shirt so the official couldn’t see it. “It’s O K Johnny,” said the coach. “Everybody does it.” When he was 16, Johnny took his first summer job at a market. His assignment was to put overripe tomatoes in the bottom of the boxes and the good ones on top. “It’s O K kid,” the manager said. “Everybody does it.” The first year in college Johnny was approached by an upperclassman with some test answers for $20. “It’s O K kid,” he said. “Everybody does it.” Johnny was caught and sent home in disgrace. “How could you do this to your mother and me?” his Dad asked.

His high school football coach was appalled, as was the market manager who gave him his first job, as where all the people who had any input when Johnny was growing up. The moral of the story is, If there is anything the adult world can’t stand it’s a kid who cheats. Right? Wrong! The trouble with Johnny was that his role models cheated and had the audacity to say to him, “Well, everybody does it!” Oh no they don’t!

What a father does leaves a lasting impression on his children. What a father says to his children may not be heard by the world but it will be heard by posterity.

We do not have to look far in our communities to find families torn apart where there is no love, respect, or if there is very little of it. Do you know that teen suicides are the newest and ugliest epidemic to hit the United States? Since 1968, records show that suicide among teens aged 15 to 19 has increased 72 percent.

It is now the third leading cause of death in this age group, the fourth leading cause of death in the 11 to 14 age group, and second among young adults aged 20 to 24. I wonder if there are any tie-ins between these statistics and what is or is not happening in the home? “Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.”

One day an elementary teacher told her class that there were more twins being born today than in previous generations. After she said this one of her students spoke up and said, “I guess more twins are being born because little children are afraid to come into this world alone.” Now while we might chuckle there is a sad note in the child’s response. Our children desperately need our love, respect, support, affection, affirmation and care. If all the child hears is provoking words, criticism and rebuke, if they are only receiving discipline that diminishes rather than affirms self-worth, this will only break the child’s spirit. What we need is reciprocal respect between children and parents.

Children are like sponges soaking up our phrases, attitudes, deeds, ways of life, even the way a child talks can be learned from a parent. They are like a tape recorder getting it all down only in years to come they can play it back with familiar sounds, either for the good or the ill.

Did you know that among those Americans who have received the Congressional Medal of Honor, there is but one Father/Son combination? Do you know who they are? Well, the father won it for a single act of bravery in a crucial Civil War battle. When he retired in 1909, he was the ranking officer in the U.S. Army and was one of the most famous soldiers of his era. His son rose to even greater heights. In 1941 he was in charge of the U.S. forces in the Philippines, and he led a defense of the Bataan peninsula and the island of Corregidor.

Although the U.S. was defeated in those battles, the bravery of the American soldiers and their leader brought inspiration to thousands of soldiers and sailors and to millions of people on the home front. Do you know who these 2 men are? The names are Arthur MacArthur, Jr. and Gen. Douglas MacArthur. I’m sure that Gen. Douglas MacArthur’s greatness had a lot to do with the outstanding heritage left to him by his father.

Men, you are so very precious in the eyes of God and we have the opportunity to be precious examples for the children in our lives. Whether we make a positive or negative impact is up to us. The book of Proverbs tells us that a child will hold on to the training they receive as they grow up. The father’s task then, is to bring his children up, as Paul says, in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.”

Year’s ago Leslie Flynn, then editor of Christian Life magazine came up with 10 Commandments for a Good Father. I leave them with you today.

• Thou shalt live so as to transmit strong and clean physical bodies to your children.
• Thou shalt, to the best of your abilities, provide shelter, clothing and food for your children.
• Thou shalt be the head of the home and model it after God’s law in love and justice.
• Thou shalt preserve the love between yourself and the mother of your children, and promote love between them.
• Thou shalt teach by personal example, rather than by precept alone.
• Thou shalt seek to develop your child’s potential.
• Thou shalt provide and participate in recreational diversions and lead your family in fun and wholesome frolic.
• Thou shalt be the instigator and leader in daily family worship, that your children may delight in God’s Word, and be faithful in prayer.
• Thou shalt set the example by attending Sunday school and church regularly with your family.
• Thou shalt make your primary goal, the introduction of each of your children to Jesus, the Savior, and prepare each one not only for life here, but also for his or her eternal life and reunion with the complete family circle in heaven.

May God bless you men and may God bless you women as together, we seek to strengthen and support the family and ultimately, the family of God. Amen.

Key Points

Introduction: A Father’s Day card that says…

Psychologists continue to confirm that a child’s personality is shaped very early in life, probably by the age of 4 or 5

Ephesians 4:4, “Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.”

Results of a study:

Both Dad & Mom attend church ___% of their children will remain faithful

Only Mom attends church ___% remain faithful

Only Dad attends church ____% remain faithful

The times Paul wrote Ephesians…

The Greek word “discipline” means __________

The story of Johnny and the response of adults - “Everybody does it”

What a father does leaves…

What a father says to his children…

Conclusion: Men, you are so very precious in the eyes of God and we have the opportunity to be precious examples for the children in our lives.

Presbyterian Church (U.S.A.)